An excerpt of the conversation with my imaginary cat Geoffrey that inspired the creation of Cats Looking Out the Window at the Rain dot Tumblr dot com
I began setting up @GeoffreyKitty a few weeks back but for some reason they suspended the account before I even got a single tweet out. The only reason I can think of is that we violated their Terms of Service because you don’t technically qualify as a real person.
- Are you kidding me? What about Jason Scott’s cat @Sockington?
- What about @KeyBoardCat?
Funny you should mention that. That’s actually a squatter that hasn’t even Tweeted in three years. The official Keyboard Cat is stuck with @TheKeyboardCat.
- Huh. Anyway, @GeoffreyKitty is a stupid, infantile-sounding name.
Geoffrey, you’re three years old.
- Why not @GeoffreyTheCat, though? Three is adult by cat standards.
@GeoffreyTheCat is taken by a cat who’s only ever Tweeted twice, and probably died two years ago.
- I still don’t understand why those other cats are allowed to have Twitter profiles and I’m not.
I don’t know why either. I filed a report but Twitter hasn’t gotten back to me about it.
- I just feel like I’m being treated like a second class citizen because I’m a cat.
Technically, you’re not even a cat. You’re an imaginary cat.
- Thanks for reminding me as though I didn’t have a full-on existential meltdown after coming to that realization.
Hey, don’t feel so bad. Someone’s been squatting on @chrismenning without ever having Tweeted once for at least four years, and Twitter won’t do anything about getting that to me either.
- Maybe you ought to just set up a Facebook profile for me. I’d be cool with posting status updates instead of Tweets.
I could do that, but it would most likely get shut down as well. Facebook is looking to start shutting down all of their profiles that don’t represent real people.
- You know, I don’t think the real issue here is that I’m a cat, or even that I’m an imaginary cat. It’s that I’m not a famous cat.
Hey, that’s the way of the world, Geoffrey.
- *sigh* What are we doing, boss?
Right this moment? Listening to “Days Gone By” by Eastern Sun and John Kelley and thinking about the last four years.